During my years growing up in evangelical Christianity, Ash Wednesday possessed no meaning to me. Observance of the day and the corresponding season of Lent, was not part of the fabric of the faith community I called home. I can’t exactly pinpoint a time when Ash Wednesday slipped into my consciousness, but I’ll never forget the first time I chose to embrace it.
To me, Ash Wednesday was a holiday reserved for Catholicism. I had no idea that large, diverse groups of Christ followers considered Ash Wednesday and Lent a significant aspect of their spiritual story. From my limited and distorted perspective I as a child and teen, Ash Wednesday seemed like a foreign, religious ritual Catholics were resigned to participate in. And unfortunately, I had a many distorted views of Catholics that I would later break free from later in life. Honestly, Ash Wednesday had about as much of an appeal to me as the Wednesday night prayer meetings that I was forced to participate in with the 3 other elderly regulars. It possessed very little vitality to me. Besides where did the ashes come from? As a kid, the only things I knew that were turned into ashes were dead people and dogs, I certainly didn’t want that rubbed all over my forehead.
My ignorance about Ash Wednesday, combined with my distorted perspective of those outside my own evangelical tribe, rendered this day as little more than an afterthought.
Then, God sent me to work as an assistant chaplain at a facility that housed both elderly patients and a younger, mentally ill population. This experience broadened my horizon as I served and facilitated services for a population of faithful, Christ followers with diverse spiritual backgrounds ranging from Catholicism to Baptists. I encountered many who observed Ash Wednesday. What I once perceived as rigid, awkward and strange, now took on meaning, depth and sacredness as I came into contact with the stories of these individuals. And I wondered, would I ever experience the mystery that seemed to bond them deeper in relational connection to our living God?
A little less than a year later, God brought me to become the Pastor of the Journey. The observance of Ash Wednesday wasn’t completely on my radar, but it never left my mind as something I wanted to experience and lead people through in a community of faith. So a few years in, I decided to lead myself and The Journey through our first season of Lent, starting with an Ash Wednesday service. I didn’t have any expectation, no prophetic vision of how it would be received, but what I encountered was the richness that occurs when a community of faith participates in a season of fasting and reflection together. Here are a few things I discovered:
There was nothing magical about the holiday itself. Instead, I found beauty in observing relationships grow in love and grace as a result of the shared experiences of fasting together.
I found myself to be more centered and receptive to the Holy Spirit’s leading, by walking the path of a season rather than a solitary holiday. I became more aware of how our lives are shaped by seasons rather than momentary days and events.
I always thought Ash Wednesday was depressing and unappealing. But I discovered that a season of reflection and fasting prepared my heart to anticipate the resurrection and renewal found in the story of Easter.
I don’t always think of my frail, humanity and find it difficult to be truly honest about my imperfections within community. I find that at times, I can be pretty full of myself and fasting during the season of Lent, taught me to empty myself, just as Christ did (Philippians 2) The observance of Ash Wednesday brought me to a complete awareness of my sin and humanity. The symbolism of ashes, fasting, communion, and reflection, allowed me to approach the Cross humbly and empathize with the shared weaknesses of those around me.
Fasting made me more aware of the things that I take for granted, rely on or distract me from connecting with God. I found that fasting during this period of time provided no benefit if it was just something I was participating in. But when I engaged it daily by centering myself in Christ during the time I’d normally be participating in the item I was fasting from, I found it made me aware of how easily I was distracted from Jesus. Since it was such a prolonged season of fasting, I experienced the ebb and flow of the season of Lent.
But the most powerful aspect I encountered within the season of Ash Wednesday and Lent, was how it shaped an entire community of Christ followers. I witnessed people give up significant, life-altering habits, behaviors, and addictions, as we fasted together. Some were giving up things they’d never return to, others sacrificed simple, daily pleasures and habits. Yet it wasn’t just something I experienced, but it was something we experienced together. And through the pain, adversity and cravings we were able to persevere together and witness the Holy Spirit change lives through a common bond and experience. People prayed, encouraged and stood beside one another. It became a story rather than a ritual.
I’ll never forget that experience. And although we don’t observe Ash Wednesday every year as a faith community, I know God has more to write on the pages of our stories this year as we experience this season once again together at The Journey.